Autumn Leaves
by Turin resurrected
Summary: The young Touya is hounded by demons and spirits, intent on the remnants of Clow's powers. Thankfully, his mother was there... but could she save him? And where does Yuki come in? Shounen ai
1. Chapter 1

**All Characters with names belong to Clamp. Those with none, you can have them.**

**Autumn Leaves**

**BY TUrin**

**Chapter 1 of 5**

Summers in Japan aren't different from the rest of the world. The sun bears down unbearably hot, and nights aren't better. Without air conditioners, one had to make do with paper fans, and you flip your wrist like crazy until you cool down. When you cool down at last, you're so worked up that you've driven the sand man away.

"You can't sleep, To-ya?" Whispered the shy creature nestled on his chest.

"It's the damned heat, koi…" he answered. Touya snickered as his beautiful angel instinctively started to move away. He caught him in an embrace and gave him a light kiss on the forehead. He could feel the blush on Yuki's cheeks as his lover calmed down. Of course the growing heat between them added to the hot weather, but this time, Touya didn't mind.

"I can't sleep, too…" Yukito muttered.

"Why, my cute Snow Bun! I'm too hot for you?"

"To-ya!" Yuki exclaimed and buried his face on his chest.

"Hey, Yuki, I'm only joking…" he crooned when Yukito didn't show any sign of moving.

But the 'cute' Snow Bunny was only biding his time. Yukito turned the score by mercilessly tickling Touya on the ribs. Since Touya had no shirt, it was a very good move. Before long, little Yuki had the stronger boy beneath him. "So, too hot for me?"

"No! No! Gomen! Gomen!" Touya pleaded in-between his laughter.

"Good! Now, you know who's in charge here!"

Touya laughed at Yuki's macho play. It was hard to imagine Yuki as someone tough. He looked so delicate and innocent! He pulled down Yuki by the collar for a deep and sweet kiss. Yuki acquiesced, slowly resting his weight on Touya's chest, enjoying the way his lover slid his tongue on his lower lip, tracing the softness of its curve.

"Hmmm… that's good," Yuki said after the kiss. "I like sleeping in your house…"

"Sleep's the farthest thing in our 'sleep-overs' koi…"

Yukito wrapped his hands around Touya's waist, "I want some more, To-ya," he whispered, his soft lips caressing Touya's neck.

"How I wish, koi. But Otosan might… you know, hear us…"

Yukito sighed and rested on Touya's arm as Touya resumed his fanning. He was still hot from their play a while ago. And Touya's shirtless body was not helping any. He needed a diversion.

"Can I play some music, To-ya?" he asked.

"Reception's not good in my room. But there are some CDs in the drawer," Touya began to stand up but Yukito stopped him.

"No, I'm gonna get them," he offered and went to the direction where Touya pointed. There were several CDs, mostly classical piano and violin pieces. A particular case stirred his interest. It was buried beneath the pile and bore no fancy cover. He picked it up together with the CD with the mellow 'Swan Lake' and 'Romeo and Juliet'.

"To-ya, what's in this?" he asked as he put the unmarked CD in the player. There was static at first. Then, as if from far away, a lone piano began to play.

"W-Where'd you get that?"

Yuki could hear the surprise, no, the shock in Touya's voice and immediately stopped the CD.

"I-I'm sorry, I thought…"

Touya walked towards him, and with faint moonlight, stared at the blank casing on his hand. The close scrutiny made Yuki feel like he just did something dreadful. But Touya immediately banished his apprehension.

"No, koi… it's all right…" he soothed his shaking bunny, giving him a gentle kiss on the top of the head. To stress his point, he turned on the player.

The piano resumed its mellow song. The notes were slow, coming as if, from a dream. Then a faint violin began to play, its deep alto resonating throughout the room, sending their hearts pounding.

Yukito could feel the underlying note of sadness in the song. They were playing a duet, but seemed to be chasing each other. The best imagery he could imagine were two lovers searching for each other; coming so near, then failing. The notes searched for each other, but all they grasped was the echo of the other instrument. There were moments of pure silence, but even so, the piece was seamlessly woven and performed, that the initial impetus of the song carried on to the very end. All in all, the effect was… haunting.

"Touya…" he finally managed to breathed after a few seconds. "What's that song?"

There was a far away look in his lover's eyes as he answered coolly. "It's called, 'Of A Hanging Embrace…'"

"Nani?" Yukito searched his memory, but even with all his knowledge in the Classics, he had never heard of it. But it was so beautiful, how come he never heard it before? Why was there no recording of it anywhere else?

Touya smiled, Yukito could see it clearly with the moonlight streaming through the window. "You know, it's weird that you play it tonight of all nights."

"To-ya?"

"Do you know that tonight's Okasan's birthday?"

Yuki's amber eyes widened and his slender hands covered his lips as he mouthed a silent 'oh'. "Gomen, I didn't know…"

"I made it for her, as a gift."

"_You_, To-ya?" Yukito was surprised at his lover's sudden revelation. He knew Touya could play, but he didn't know he was that good!

"Is there any other 'me' around here?"

"I- I didn't mean…"

Touya simply cut Yukito off with a swift kiss. Sometimes, Yuki had so little self-esteem that he could take a teasing like that seriously. Yuki's eyes were still closed when Touya led him to bed where he made the snow bunny rest on his chest again.

It was some time before Yuki gathered enough courage to speak.

"To-ya?"

"Hai?"

"Doishte?" His voice was softer now, afraid that Touya might become angry with him. "Why did you stop playing?"

"I just don't feel like it anymore," Touya answered with his extreme talent for gab – which was next to zero.

"To-ya, you just don't stop playing when you're that good…" Yukito muttered before he realized what he was saying. "Oh!" He was about to rush in another spell of forgiveness when Touya stopped him.

"You say 'sorry' too much!" he teased and smiled sweetly at Yuki.

"I'm sorry… it's just that… I…"

"Nani?"

"I don't know much about you To-ya," he softly whispered. His eyes wandering to the moon outside.

Yuki… didn't know him?

But they spent so much time together! Yet…

I don't know much about you To-ya…

"W-why do you say that Yuki?"

Yukito was clearly trembling now.

"B-because… you never tell me anything To-ya…"

"But you never ask!"

"I- I was afraid you'd get mad…"

Touya looked incredulously at his lover. But as he mulled it over, there was some truth in it… he really didn't tell Yuki much. Yuki did much of the talking. Telling of his grandparents' adventures all over the world, how he got his scar on the elbow, almost everything about his past. And all he contributed was a 'hunh' and a nod.

"To-ya, you're not mad, are you?"

Touya shook his head and stroked Yuki's arms to warm him. He didn't mean to scare him… but sadly, he seemed to have that effect on Yuki. He often shrink back when he so much as raise his voice. Yuki was afraid that he might tread over some invisible line in their relationship, and drive him away forever… and even with his heightened senses, he was too dense to even realize it!

He kissed Yuki's lips and waited until Yuki's heart slowed its beating. Then, with that familiar weight resting peacefully on his chest, he looked into memories he had buried for so long.

"I was only seven years old then…"

_To Be Continued_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Disclaimer:** All Characters with names belong to Clamp's Card Captor Sakura. Those with none, you can have them._

**Autumn Leaves Chapter 2 of 5**

**By Turin**

As you know, I was closer to Okasan than with Ottosan. It's not that I love him any less, but when I was young, he often spent months away from home, in the various archeological digs he was assigned to. Okasan missed him very much. So I made it my duty to make her happy. Try as I might though, I still felt that I was only a diversion, a doll, for her to play with, until the real Love of her life returns.

Understand, I was not competing with Ottosan. But their love to each other, it was all-encompassing. I know they didn't mean it, but when they're together, they sometimes forget that I, or anybody else was still there. I felt left out. Sakura never had that problem. He was Daddy's little girl, while I was never their little boy. Don't look at me like that, honey! kiss They're wonderful parents, and if loving each other too much was their only fault, I could live with that.

School was my problem when I was young. I hated going. But for Okasan's sake, I pretended that I loved that damn school, with the pink walls and red windows.

She would leave me outside the gate and tell me to have fun. Always, I didn't want to let go of her hand… because I was afraid. But of course, she can't stay. And when she leaves, that's when they come.

The shadows.

Sometimes, they moan, and try to grab me. I didn't understand that they were just spirits, but I was still a kid, and I didn't know. I tried to stay aloof to the chaos around me. But when I can't stand it anymore, I rush to the giant Sakura in the Tsukimine Shrine, just in front of the school, and everything would fall silent.

The teachers didn't notice anything wrong. I always behaved accordingly and was on top of my classes. Besides, I was braver when there were people around me.

But my classmates noticed the 'crazy' kid in school. The one who suddenly stares beyond you when you're talking. Or starts shouting to leave him alone. They grew afraid of me. Those who avoided me were the kinder ones. But some kids were cruel, even if they didn't mean it… they threw rocks at me, made fun of me… asked which weirdo in my head I was with now.

I tried to take it all in stride, but it was hard. My only consolation was there were no ghosts at home. And Okasan would pick me up very early so she can have some company.

Of course, as long as I can help it, I avoided school. Even looking at its direction.

I only spent one night in school, when the boy scouts were required to attend a camp-out. Ottosan was at home, so I didn't need to be the man in the house.

It was a full moon like tonight, and we were divided into ten troops. Two students each. I don't remember the name of my buddy, but I'm sure, whoever he was, he still remembers me.

"Hey, be careful! Touya might feed you to the monsters!" they jeered. I pretended not to hear. The poor kid was arguing with the teacher why he was paired with me. But everything was settled by random, and we were ordered to go to sleep for disturbing the peace.

Our tent was pitched on a hill, overlooking Penguin Park, which was still a forest back then. I shivered as I felt a foreboding pass over me.

"Nani, weirdo?" my buddy asked tauntingly as I stared in the darkness. "See your friends?"

I glared at him, and he shut up. Without saying anything else, I slid inside my sleeping bag. He must've slept after some while. I could hear his soft breathing.

Soon, even the voices outside grew quiet.

I wish I could fall asleep so easily too. The billowing wind rocked the tent, and the darkness added to my fear. I saw a shape rise in the tent, a shadowy figure in the shape of a small human… it was like mist rising from my feet, and it was crawling towards me.

My heart beat wildly as I struggled to get up but cannot. My eyes darted to and fro. I strained to shout for help, even if it meant losing my dignity… but my voice caught in my throat. My body refused to move, and all I could do was tense as I felt the creature's hand? it looks like a hand, claw-like and thin, writhe like a mad skeleton up my side.

The wind outside blew stronger, I could hear the leaves rustling as the wind passed through the trees.

The creature was on my chest now. It bore no weight. It has no features in its face. Just a hollower shadow to suggest where the mouth nose and ears should be. It seemed to be screaming because its 'mouth' was agape, and its head was tilted back a little. It was just a presence, a horrible presence. I was looking straight into its face because I can't turn my head. And I was too far in shock to realize that I could close my eyes.

And you know what scared me the most?

As it crawled on me… its face vanished into my head…passed into me… and I could see its darkness overcoming me, its coldness spreading to my limbs.

That was when I screamed I think.

I struggled to take it out of my head. I tried pushing it away, but my hand passed through it. I trashed in my sleeping bag like crazy, screaming for anyone to help.

On some level, I heard my buddy scream and rush outside. Then, I heard 'Oh my God' from one of the teachers.

I was breathing harder now. No one wanted to go near, they all gawked and screamed. I thought, oh my God, I'm not bad, why are you doing this to me? If this thing doesn't go away, I'd go crazy… someone, help me, please, I prayed.

Then everything else vanished, and I was awash with the most soothing light you could ever imagine. It banished away all my fear, and the darkness which the creature brought. I remember seeing the outline of a person with long hair, and a bulky coat. His voice was resolute as it ordered the thing to disappear…

I saw his face, but I can't remember it now. I think I know him because I remember the feeling of someone very close to me. The man smiled and touched my forehead with the tip of his index finger…

"Everything will be all right," he whispered.

Then I was in reality again.

I found myself in the middle of a scream. I was still in the tent, but somehow, the sleeping bag was bundled on my feet, and I was on my side, clutching my head like I intend to rip it off…

When I realized that, I stopped instantly. But I was still afraid… I was shaking so hard, and breathing so hard. I hugged myself, forcing myself to remember the serenity the light brought me. It wasn't enough, but it helped.

Then I was aware of the crowd around me…

"He really _is _a monster…" I heard someone say.

"Did you see that? It was horrible!"

They thought I conjured it up! I peered through the damp hair which clung to my face, and saw their expressions…

Fear.

They fear me Yuki…

I didn't see one worried face.

They didn't ask if I was all right. If I had died, if that creature succeeded… I think they will sigh in relief. I cried and cried when I realized that. That's what hurt me more. No one cared for me…

"To-ya…" Yukito searched his lover's face for any emotion, but there was none. Touya was so serene. It looked like he was watching a TV show and just reporting back everything to him. "To-ya… you don't feel like that anymore, do you?" he asked. Half afraid of the answer. If Touya still felt the same, then what was he for? He failed in his love for him…

Thankfully, Touya slowly shook his head and looked at him with the most loving twinkle in his eyes.

"No, koi," he smiled as his embrace on Yukito tightened. "I know I have someone now…"

"Do you still see ghosts, To-ya?"

"Sometimes."

"Is there… any ghost here, now?" Yuki asked softly.

"As a matter of fact, yes!"

"To-ya!" Yuki whimpered and hid under their head pillow. Touya laughed and playfully rolled over Yukito, his body on Yuki's back.

"Hey, c'mout there. You're the one who asked, remember?"

"You should've said no!" his Snow Bunny whimpered, his voice muffled by the pillow. "It was a rhetorical question!"

The taller boy peered under the pillow. It was funny the way Yukito close his eyes like his life depended on it. Kinda cute, really.

"Yuki…"

"No more scary stories, To-ya!"

"Hai. I promise. No more." Touya rolled over the other side while Yukito reluctantly came out. Touya smiled sweetly at Yuki and offered his outstretched arm as a more comfortable pillow. Yuki snuggled like a little kid.

"I quit school after that. They told Ottosan to take me home where discharge papers will be sent. I was 'disturbed', they said, and a menace to the others. I didn't really care much, whatever they said. They didn't matter to me. But I was afraid when we had to tell Okasan. I was afraid she'd hate me, too…"

_To Be Continued_


	3. Chapter 3

All characters with names belong to Clamp's CCS. Those with none, are freebies.

**Autumn Leaves Chapter 3 of 5**

Ottosan was silent as he drove me home. I was still in half-shock, staring at the clenched knuckles on my knees. I can't stop the tears from flowing, even though I can't find any reason to cry anymore.

"Touya…"

I looked up, fearful. Would he hate me, too? I wanted to tell him I'm sorry, I can't bear it anymore. Please don't be mad.

"Touya, why didn't you tell me this, before?"

There was no reproach in his voice. His gaze was deep as he kept his eyes on the road.

"I-I don't want to bother…"

I didn't get to finish my sentence. He pressed the brake so hard, I was propelled forward. Only the seatbelt stopped me. After I caught my breath, I glanced up at Ottosan. His brows were knitted, and his lips were set in a grim line.

"You are NOT a bother, Touya!" his voice was raw as he said that. He wiped my tears with his warm big hands. I dared look him in the eyes, there was no accusation there. Only fatherly love, and full-hearted acceptance. Then he added in a softer voice, "Touya… don't believe what they say. You aren't a monster."

Imagine, hearing that you're a monster from everyone…

"But To-ya, you tell that to Sakura, everyday!" Yukito accused.

"Yuki, that's different! Anyway…"

You'd deny it at first, but soon, they'll get to you. Soon, your defenses will wear down. Then you'll start thinking, maybe I am a monster. Then you start believing it…

Hearing Ottosan say that I wasn't… you can't imagine the relief I felt. It's like having a storm batter your windows at night, then in the morning, you open them, and see that the storm has gone, the sky is blue and the world is so peaceful… I gave him a little smile. He ruffled my hair and laughed.

"So, you can see ghosts?" he asked.

I nodded.

"Ah. Is there any ghost around here?"

I looked around. There were shadows outside, but they were only plain shadows. I shook my head. There aren't any ghosts around Ottosan, not then and not now. He had a very strong aura compared to other people. I don't have to force myself to see it. It's like a pulsing light of blue around him.

"You know Touya, I think you came from my branch of the family…"

"Your branch..?" Ottosan never talked much about his past. This was the first time he mentioned it to me. He laughed at his own private joke.

"Well, I think it's mine, since your Mother doesn't see anything…"

"_You_ see ghosts, too?"

His eyes widened as he shook his head energetically.

"Iie, iie! Thankfully, no!" He started the car and began driving again. Then he added matter-of-factly, "I know some things by instinct."

"But, that's not the same as seeing ghosts," I muttered.

He laughed. "No, it isn't," he agreed, "But it led me to your Mother."

It was only a 15-minute drive, and very soon, we were in the village. Okasan was waiting outside the house when we arrived. Ottosan had learned to slow the car a few meters back. Once, he almost bumped into her because she came running in front of the car – then tripping.

"Fujitaka!" she cried. She ran to his arms and fell short when she fell down. She was up a second later, blushing. "Touya, my baby…" she hugged me so tight, I thought my ribs would break!

"Okasan…" I began, but Father stopped me. There was a silent communication between us that he would break the news to her.

Okasan took it in stride. She had a strong spirit in spite of her… clumsiness. She gave me a hug after dinner and kissed me. She promised everything would be all right.

"Not all ghosts are scary," she said. It was almost prophetic in a way.

Ottosan stayed home after that. He asked to be reassigned to a teaching position in a local university. The school was afraid to lose such a brilliant professor, so they complied. Meanwhile, Okasan tutored me at home.

Snicker That didn't last long, though. She wasn't the brilliant type. Ottosan put a stop to it when he attended one of our lessons.

"Touya, how do you write ice?" she asked

I wrote water. She beamed.

"Touya, how do you write, water?"

I wrote ice.

I watched Ottosan become paler than my paper. I think there was a big sweat drop on his temple when he joked seriously that perhaps he should help teach me. After all, it wasn't fair to his beloved wife if she did all the work. He also noticed how often I was bumping into things, or tripping over my foot.

If Ottosan didn't rescue me, I probably won't be in the soccer team right now. Heck, I might just take on a milder sport, like jackstones…

Okasan didn't mind, though. She looked up at Ottosan, mainly because he was older and he _was_ her teacher after all. I think she understood that Ottosan could teach me better than she can. So, he left Okasan with the day's lesson, and she watched me while I did it. He checked it when he came home at night.

I blossomed under his tutelage. I became calmer, surer of my self. There were no malevolent spirits to disturb me. And I was surrounded with people who loved me. I was happy. Ottosan made me take government year-level tests. To their happiness, I got high marks, even merited 'acceleration' status to a higher level. But my parents didn't let me. They said that they didn't want me to sweep through childhood. They wanted me to take it easy and enjoy. Not that I had any problem with that.

One lazy afternoon, a package arrived for Okasan. It was bulky, and big, and carried by sinister-looking women. I crinkled my nose at the mysterious-looking package. Okasan was as clueless as I as to who sent it. But her face lit up when she read the card.

_To my Dear Nadesico,_

_I found this in our attic a while back. It was gathering dust since no one plays anymore. Sent it to you. I'm expecting a child later this year. It would be nice if you play at her christening. Miss you so much. Love you._

_From,_

_Your dear cousin_

Yes, it was from Tomoyo's weird Mom. Our apartment was cramped as it was. Even with the weird women, it was difficult to maneuver the piano inside. Finally, we managed to push it to the living room's wall. We all frowned. It was an eyesore, standing out like a dinosaur in the midst of the modern furniture, but for Okasan, the sight was heavenly. She laughed like a little girl as she ran her hand over the organ's scratched mahogany body.

"I didn't know they kept you," she whispered, talking to the piano like a dear old friend. Then with a graceful sweep of her hands, she gathered her skirt and played.

I don't remember the melody anymore. It was a simple children song. But Okasan had a way with music. I found myself closing my eyes and just letting the notes carry me.

When the song was done, I knew I had to learn the piano.

That evening, Ottosan was very surprised to see the new piano. After explaining how it got there, Okasan gleefully made him sit on the couch.

"Koibito, listen to our surprise!"

When he was comfortable, Okasan gave me the go signal to play my part. It was the base of the same song she played. Then she played the other half. It was more beautiful now that it was complete. And when we finished, Ottosan's eyes shone with appreciation.

"Touya, you learned that so quickly?"

Okasan beamed with pride as I nodded.

"That's not all, koi… Look," she motioned to me, "Touya, can you play that song again?"

I did what she told me. I imagined the song in my head, then let the notes define themselves. It didn't take long, only a few seconds. When I placed my hands on the piano, it was like breathing. I just did it. I didn't realize then that I shouldn't be playing so effortlessly so early. But I knew the way how the music should be played. It was instinctive.

When I finished, Ottosan stared at me like I swallowed the piano, or something. Then he breathlessly whispered, "Wonderful."

I fell in love with the piano after that. When I'm not studying, I was on the piano. Okasan didn't get to play often, but she patiently listened to my impromptu compositions. Sometimes, she would bring records for me, and I would play it for her. It didn't matter, classical, pop; it was all music.

Very soon, word spread how well I could play.

Yukito stirred on his arm.

"Still awake, love?" Touya whispered softly.

"Hai," Yukito answered dreamily. It was near midnight now. "How'd it happen?"

"I dunno. The neighbors I guess. Ottosan's too humble, and it's not in Okasan's nature to brag… Matte…"

"Nani?"

"My hand's fallen asleep."

"G-Gomen!" Yukito sat up immediately, making Touya wince as electricity shoot up his nerves. Touya clenched and unclenched his fists to get the blood flowing again. When his arm's all right again, he went back to bed. But Yuki won't use his arm for a pillow anymore. "Iie! This time, you're using _my arm_ To-ya!" he exclaimed with all his conviction.

Touya frowned as he watched Yuki offer his arm, but he settled in anyway. He wasn't used to be the one snuggling. It was a new perspective to be in, looking up at Yuki. Then he noticed how funny his feet were dangling at the edge of the bed. So he raised them up, accidentally brushing over Yuki's thighs in the process. His Snow Bunny's eyes widened and a blush spread across his cheeks.

"Yuki, you _hentai!_" he teased when he realized what was happening. "What're you thinking?"

"To-ya, you're mean! I was…" his words were muffled as Touya continued to taunt him, slipping his hands inside his pajama. "T-To-ya!" He tried to pull away but it was a half-hearted attempt. Very soon, they were exchanging kisses and caresses.

"Hmm… you better continue your story koi," Yukito breathed, as he found himself straddled by his lover. "If we don't stop this now, I think I'll… you know…"

Touya sighed but got off him and rolled on the bed. He was well behaved this time, since he was also down to the last strings of his self-control. But he couldn't resist one last kiss.

"Soon," he paused to remember where he was, "I received an invitation from the Japan Conservatory of Music …

"There I was, sitting unprepared with a handful of kids my age. I listened in awe as they played score after score of beautiful songs. Well, I thought, they were beautiful… I glanced at the judge at my left, and knew they weren't up to her standards.

"When it was finally my turn, she and I were already the only ones in the room.

"I didn't know what I was supposed to play. I glanced uneasily at the keyboard. I decided to play 'Moonlight Sonata'. I began slowly at first, letting us savor the notes. Then it was smooth-sailing from there as the melancholy piece played itself.

"When I finished, I rose slowly from the stool. She clapped, and I knew I was in.

"My parents were very proud when they heard. Sad too, because I had to go in June, a few months from then, to catch up with the season. We all agreed to cope with it when it comes. Meanwhile, we'll simply enjoy each other."

Yukito's eyes shone with amazement as he struggled to take it all in. He heard of the Conservatory. Many Japanese talents called it home. And they don't ask anybody to audition, _you_ call them. But Touya, his Touya, he broke all the rules…

"Did you go, koi?"

Touya smiled and wistfully shook his head.

"But… I thought you loved music?"

"So did I…" Touya stared at his lover's hazel eyes, it looked so much like his mother's, like a gentle fawn's. "Everything seems perfect then. I should've suspected it can't last forever… "

**To Be Continued**


	4. Chapter 4

All characters with names belong to Clamp's CCS. Those with none, are freebies.

**Autumn Leaves**

**Chapter 4 of 5**

Ottosan and I vividly remember that day. When our Fates intertwined and turned.

It was a fine Sunday morning. The weather was so fine that Okasan commented that it would be such a waste not to go on a picnic.

Of course it was only a suggestion, but I loved picnics! Without further ado, I was in the kitchen, making three sandwiches, and packing them messily in a basket. "Ottosan!" I called, rushing upstairs. I found him in the attic (which his he had converted to a study). He closed the very old book he was reading the moment I came puffing in. "Kasan said let's go on a picnic!"

"A picnic, you say?"

It was hard getting him off his chair once he sinks his mind in a good book. But when he glimpsed Okasan by the door, the book was forgotten, and a picnic it was.

"Let's go, let's go!" I pulled them both, one hand for each of them.

My mother, as usual was smiling and giggling as she let her headstrong son lead. Ottosan paused to get the car ready but Okasan stopped him.

"Let's walk this time?" she asked in a sweet girlish voice.

So the car was forgotten and we took a leisurely stroll to the park.

It was the season when the Sakura trees are in full bloom. We chose a shady spot below the oldest and biggest tree. Once in a while, a breeze would blow making pink petals float magically in the air. It was a beautiful scene, and she loved every bit of it.

Her luscious hair snagged many flowers, but she didn't seem to mind. Once in a while though, Ottosan tenderly brushes them off, and she would softly laugh and dreamily close her eyes.

"If we have a baby girl, I want her named Sakura," she mused.

I watched my father pause in his ministration. There was a look of confusion in his face, then surprise, then finally… he laughed! I seldom saw Ottosan laugh! He's always so reserved, so composed. But now, here we were, in the park, and he was laughing! The sandwich lay on his lap, forgotten.

"A baby?" Ottosan's voice quivered with happiness. "Are you saying…?"

She gave him the most beautiful smile and nodded.

"This… This is…" Ottosan searched for words, but no words could be enough. He took her in his arms and whispered, "I love you…"

I think I averted my eyes. I was still uncomfortable with "mushy" stuff. Now that I have you, I think I understand that moment better now. Heh. Imagine my reaction if you say you're gonna have a baby!

_"Toooh-yaaaA!"_

The moment was broken when all of a sudden, the sky clouded up, and a light drizzle began to fall.

We immediately packed up. Ottosan covered Okasan protectively with a coat.

"Touya, come here!" he called after me. But I was already racing them home, using the basket as an umbrella.

The shower turned into a full-blown storm that night. News said that the weather was unexpected, and everyone was advised to stay home.

I lay in bed shivering, unable to sleep. I burrowed under the blankets, but it was useless. I sniffed and blew my nose. _It must be the storm_, I thought. I might've fallen asleep because when I woke up, Okasan was beside my bed, looking very worried.

"His fever is high…" her voice was soft, as soft as her hand on my forehead. _Why was her hand so cold? _I wondered.

Ottosan appeared at her side. He looked sick, too. When he checked my temperature, his hands were almost as warm as me. I closed my eyes. I was beginning to get nauseous.

"I'm going to call the doctor," Ottosan said as he rose ungainly on his feet. She tried to steady him, but he refused the help.

"Kasan? What's with 'Tousan?" I asked weakly, there seemed to be grains of sand in my throat. And the light was hurting my eyes.

"Shhh, he's just caught a cold, " she smiled, but it was different from her usual smile. She brushed the hair away from my eyes. It was soothing in a way. Somewhere in the background, I could hear my father on the phone…

"He's coming," he announced weakly. He was steadying himself on the wall, his hand massaging his temple…

A blinding flash of lightning knocked off the electricity. A deafening roar of thunder followed.

One moment, Ottosan was standing, the next moment he was down on the floor. Then to my horror, that brilliant blue light around him dissipated.

At the same instant, my body flailed in agony. I can't feel anything except these shards of glass passing through my skin…

"Touya!" Okasan screamed, then more loudly, "Fujitaka!"

I wanted to reach out to Okasan for comfort, but when I reached for her, she wasn't there anymore…

My hands passed through her. Then these creatures, like the one I saw in the camp, were after me again… they were coming from everywhere this time. Like water rushing from an opened dam, they came.

It's terrible… I thought I put them all behind. And now, they're here again.

"Touya…! Touya!" she cried.

For a moment, her voice called me back, and I used that opportunity to cling to her. She must've gotten hurt, but she didn't flinch a bit.

"Okasan, help me, **_onegai_**!" I screamed as I continued to hold on to her. The memory of the shadow surfaced, its soulless eyes, its gaping nothingness… I trembled in terror…

She embraced me tightly trying to protect me from the danger she couldn't see. She covered me with her arms, and whispered, her voice in pain as she saw how helpless she was now, "I will protect you To-ya… I promise…"

That was the last time I held her.

**To Be Continued**


	5. Chapter 5

All characters with names belong to Clamp's CCS. Those with none, are freebies.

**Autumn Leaves Chapter 5 of 5**

I remember waking up to a bundle of cuteness in front of my face. She was wrapped in a pink blanket and cooing, her hands straining to reach for my nose.

Then little things about everything seemed to catch my attention… the ray of sunlight streaming through the curtains, the way the autumn leaves were drifting beyond the glass.

"Touya?" Ottosan's voice was scarcely more than a whisper. He took away the baby to get a better look at me. "Are you awake?"

I rubbed my eyes, shaking off the sleep from them. My muscles were a little bit shaky, but otherwise, I felt fine. "What do you mean, 'tousan?" I asked groggily.

"You mean, you don't remember anything?"

During that time, I didn't. I just thought, I must've had a very long fitful sleep, but I can't clearly remember. Okasan placed her hand on my forehead. I was surprised that I didn't see her earlier. I was about to ask what's going on when she motioned for me to be quiet. I drifted back to sleep.

My memories of the next few days were hazier, but I remember doctors and nurses coming every once in a while to check on me. Something real bad must've happened to have them all fussing over me like that. Ottosan was sometimes there. And the baby. But he was drawn inside himself and never talked. Okasan however, was always there. Sometimes she sits by the window, humming her favorite tune. Our 'Duet piece'. I think we recorded it in a tape somewhere. But one thing puzzled me. When Ottosan visits, they never talk with each other. He doesn't even acknowledge her presence. Did they have a fight? One day, I decided to bring my concern out in the open.

"Ottosan, did you and Okasan have a fight?"

"What?" he looked at me strangely, his game of peek-a-boo with the baby halted.

This was our first conversation in months. It's not that I can't talk before. I just didn't find anything more important than catching up on my sleep.

"I mean," I yawned. Staying awake was getting harder by the second. "I don't see you and Okasan talking since I woke up…" I looked at him, then at Okasan who was playing with the baby. She paused too, and was as surprised as he.

He looked at Okasan's direction, then me.

"Touya…" he faltered, seemingly at war with himself, "Nadesico, your Mother… she died a month ago."

I think I gaped at him like he was the crazy one.

"You're joking," I whispered. "You're joking, Ottosan!"

But he picked up the baby and walked to me, through Okasan.

I was more shocked than afraid when I saw that. Okasan didn't look at me when that happened. She continued to stare at the autumn leaves dancing outside.

Ottosan sat at the chair beside the bed. He placed the baby on his lap where I could clearly see her.

"Sakura," he sweetly cooed at her, "Meet your Oniisan…"

She seemed to understand, and she giggled her assent. She had very large inquisitive eyes. Like hers…

I stared at him, then the baby, then Okasan. I remembered the promise she gave during that terrible night:

_I will protect you To-ya…_

"Gomen…" Touya paused his story telling as he struggled to wipe the tear which escaped down his cheek.

Then he cried silently, burying his face on Yuki's chest, listening to the comforting beat of his lover's heart. His shoulders didn't shake. The only sign that he was crying was the spreading patch of wetness on Yuki's shirt.

"I loved her so much, koi… I thought I was the strong one… but in the last moment, she was the one who protected me…"

"Shh, shh…" Yuki whispered, gently rubbing Touya's shoulder. He was taken aback, seeing Touya like this. He wanted to end the story telling, but he knew that Touya needed this, or he will never get over it. He closed his eyes, praying for his lover's strength.

"That very afternoon, I forced myself to get up," continued Touya, slowly at first, then more resolutely, "I was determined to visit her grave no matter what…"

All she had was a simple slab of black granite. I knelt as I ran my fingers across her name, her date of birth, and the inscription, '_Beloved by All'_. Ottosan was silent as he watched over me. I could sense his sorrow, his pain…

His beloved half was gone.

I think we stayed there, saying nothing until the sky grew dark and we had to go home.

Home. It was different. Ottosan opened the door, and it was dark inside. Okasan used to keep all the lights on to welcome us. But with her gone, it seemed improper to do it anymore. I noticed the thin film of dust gathering on the piano.

"She used to play for you," Ottosan said, his voice soft. "Even when she was so sick, she always hoped that the music will reach you…"

Okasan. She was always thinking of others.

The piano lay open. In a moment, Okasan would come bounding in, with a bouquet of flowers for the vase on its hood, and motion me to come play the Duet with her. But of course, that would never be. Then I saw that instead of a vase, there was a silver picture frame on the piano. I took it gently in my hands and gazed at my Mother.

She was as she always was. And now, she will never change. For Ottosan and me, and all those who loved her, she will always be the shining Nadesico.

When I composed 'Of a Hanging Embrace.' I offered it to her and Ottosan, of their fleeting time together; to Sakura who will never know her…

… Then I closed the piano.

And never opened it again.

At the behest of my Father, I set the notes to paper and sent it to my sponsor in the Conservatory as gratitude. But I explained that I didn't want to go anymore. The music has died for me.

A few months later, I received the recording. But I didn't listen to it. This was the first time, Yuki…

Touya lay in his lover's arms. Somehow, telling the story made the pain throb a little less.

"Why does she have to die, koi?"

Yuki didn't know the answer either. So he simply closed his eyes and shared his lover's grief. He doesn't understand what it meant having a mother, or a father. He didn't know what a family actually was until he met the Kinomotos.

But now, after hearing Touya's tale, he felt a tinge of longing for a home that was more than a dream…

"To-ya," Yuki whispered, "You were lucky to have a mother like her…"

He ran his fingers along Touya's damp cheeks, following the trail of tears down to his chin. Then gently, he raised his face and met his lips for a kiss.

_You saved his life…_he thought, thinking of Nadesico.

_I know, I can't do much… but I promise, I won't ever hurt To-ya… and I'll make him happy for you._

The kiss was a mere pittance compared to Nadesico's gift, but it was all Yukito could give.

_Someday,_ he promised her, _You'll hear him play again… _

**The End**


	6. Chapter 6

**Autumn Leaves**

**Epilogue**

There's no way on earth that Touya could have known. Nor could he have understood if he knew. Perhaps it was better that way.

Nadesico watched over her family from heaven, but like all mothers, she could never leave them behind.

Somewhere in a grand old mansion, a beautiful girl sat alone in her private theater, editing the megabytes of footage she shot early that day. Somewhere in her room, she kept a treasure box of memories – home movies of her best friend's life. Strange how she felt so protective of her, not as a friend, but something deeper… like a mother almost.

Life is a cycle, a never-ending procession of seasons. As sure as Winter heralds Spring, so is death not the end of life…

_Arigato Gozaimasu Minna!_

_Arigato!_

_--Turin, feb.22,2003---_


End file.
